Today was a struggle. I had a massive breakdown last night because I was told some devastating news. This morning I woke up and I felt depressed and unmotivated. I was laying on the lounge for a solid hour and a half and I planned on wasting my entire day, when really I should’ve been doing assignments and going to the gym.
I failed to eat breakfast and didn’t leave my pyjama’s. My usual daily routine was already going wrong. I turned into a negative and unmotivated couch potato. I was happy curling into a ball and ignoring the world (as unhealthy as it sounds) that’s how I felt.
A good friend of mine reminded me that no matter what happens in life you just need to keep moving forward. He was right. I struggled to get off the lounge and it took me a long time to get ready, but I did it. You’re only as weak as you believe and today I proved to myself that I am stronger than my negative feelings.
We all deal with problems and sadness differently, and the way I deal with things is blocking out the world and forcing depressing music into my head- it enhances the sadness … again it’s not healthy but it works for me. Sadly, I also push everyone who’s close to me away, but the people who really care force themselves back into my life whether I like it or not.
I’m starting to learn the life lesson of support. I’m allowing people to help me when I need of it and I’m reaching out for help too, which is a big step.
I don’t feel much better, but I accomplished a leg day session at the gym and walked out proud. You are capable of anything if you put your mind into it.