Help! I’m Addicted To My Vibrator

Come on ladies; I know you all have that special friend who rocks your world and no, I’m not talking about your crazy-weirdo friend who leaves you in hysterics because they think they’re funny. Now, whether your ‘special friend’ vibrates at eight different speeds or spins in multiple directions, it’s going to do you justice. Guaranteed more than the average male ever will.

Sorry boys, but unfortunately you just don’t hit the spot. If you can’t do it sober, then there’s no way you can do it drunk. Don’t even bother trying to sell your skills to the hot girl sipping on a Margarita at the other end of the bar. Chances are she’s going to finish what you couldn’t start.

It’s hard to please a girl, when deep down you know we can do it better. Nothing compares to the incredible vibrating sensations that send random rushes of tingling pulses around our body.

If a girl tells you she doesn’t pleasure herself or own a vibrator, chances are she is telling a little white lie. I’m not going to spill the secrets of our womanhood, but realistically the majority of us own one or two.

Photo credit: davitydave, Flickr
Photo credit: davitydave, Flickr

Alright ladies, let’s find out if you’re addicted to your vibrator:

Number One: He can’t make you come during sex, so you reach for your vibrator and finish the job off yourself.

Number Two: It’s a 100% guaranteed orgasm every time. We are not modest; we just know what we like and what pushes us over the edge.

Number Three: You’re in control. What girl doesn’t like being in control? It’s our thing, what more can I say?

Number Four: You only have to worry about yourself. You don’t have to share the pleasure role, and once you’re satisfied you can go to sleep, or if you’re a devious sex devil, you can continue with your day (after your solo quickie).

Number Five: Batteries last longer than an overly-exhausted partner’s fingers and tongue. How many times have they complained about a cramp in their finger or asked: “Are you close yet?” … Mood killer.

Ladies, if you can’t relate to the majority of those reasons, I can then safely say you are NOT addicted to your vibrator and your sex life is rocking your world. However, bare in mind sex toys add spice to your sex life and make it more exciting and pleasurable for both of you. I’m not suggesting to trade your partner’s prime member for your battery-powered sex toy, but maybe by incorporating a pair of handcuffs or a whip? I’ll leave that one to your wild imaginations!

Photo credit: Martin Abegglen, Flickr
Photo credit: Martin Abegglen, Flickr

Also published on Australia’s Best Bars and Nightclubs

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